In the era of cheap relationships, having a relationship freely has become a trend, as if it were smart.
Cheap relationship |
In the era of cheap relationships, having a relationship freely has become a trend, as if it were smart. In many cases, the family doesn't say anything but instead gives more support. Therefore, boys and girls of rising age easily get involved in relationships with the opposite sex. Similarly, say 'Sayem' and 'Farzana'. Their love affair since college life. Being close friends, 'Sayem' often shares his many things with me freely.
One day, Sayem called me to a restaurant and wanted to tell me something. He looked very sad. I asked him,
What's the matter, Sayem? Your face looks black. Any problem or not?
Then he said, Actually, friend, today I will share one thing about my life. You know, me and Farzana have a long-term love relationship. Although you asked me several times to come back from this haram relationship, I did not listen. Maybe today I have to pay for this. However, today marks four years of our love relationship. But in these four years, I got nothing to say about happiness in the real sense. Everything is a lie.
Why? What happened?
Don't say more, friend; don't worry. This has been a problem with my girlfriend for several days. Calling him only makes him look busier and busier. When I enter the Messenger or WhatsApp app, I always see the active green light in his inbox. Then I thought, I don't know which boy she is chatting with. He has no idea how many times I have discussed this with him. He doesn't want to understand anything I say. Behaving rudely. He always wants to win. In a word, I have to be in a kind of anxiety all the time with his behavior.
Besides, that day I saw with my own eyes that she was talking to another boy on the phone. I asked him, Why do you talk to other boys like this?
At first he wanted to deny, but finally he said that boy was his just friend. I can't tell you how bad my mood was when I heard this. Do you know what I realized then? I realized the decree of Allah's veil. To escape from this problem, we have to come to the provision of a veil. If we accept the rules of the veil, i.e., mahram and non-mahram, there will be nothing to say, just friends. But this is not what we accept.
I heard in one Islamic lecture that Nekka's wife is a great blessing from Allah. From her behavior, I realized that a Nekka's wife is indeed a great blessing. If a girl like her becomes my wife, my life will be completely changed. Then it seems that I will see a kind of hell in the world.
I can't stand his behavior at all. I don't want to have this haram relationship anymore. This is a relationship involving emotional pain. Constantly going through mental turmoil. I know why I always have this suspicion that she is in love with another boy; she is chatting, etc. They always keep you in mental turmoil, which affects you physically as well. So I broke up with him before coming here this morning. Finally, I realized that there is no comfort in a haram relationship. Because such a relationship is full of disobedience to Allah.
I said quite loudly, Alhamdulillah! Well done, Sayem. Now my advice to you is to prepare yourself for marriage. And get married as soon as possible. Marriage will help you survive many trials and will give you peace of mind. In-Sha-Allah!
Yes, my friend, that's what I'm thinking. I have already informed my family to see my daughter for marriage.
Ma-Sha-Allah! Then it's good. Allah has kept peace of mind and happiness about the halal, not about the haram. Allah Ta'ala says about it: Among His signs is this one He has made for you mates from among yourselves, so that you may find happiness with them; Moreover, He has created between you love and mutual amity; and of course there are many pointers for the thinking community in between.
This is a motivational verse.
Yes, that's it. Every word of Allah is motivational.
Well, then, get up today. After saying this, we ended the conversation like that day and went to each house.
A few days later
Sayem called me again and called me to that restaurant. After going there, I asked him, Has any bride been seen for marriage? Then he said, looking even more dirty than that day,
Say no more, friend. I'm still confused. I can't find peace even after breaking up.
I looked at him and asked in a surprised manner, Why, what happened again?
With a look of sadness on his face, he said in a tired tone, After the breakup, that girl is giving me threats one after another. If he doesn't get me, he will kill himself. He gave me an ultimatum that if I didn't reconnect with him within a week, he would kill himself in eight days. I really don't know what to do in this situation! Nothing is working in my head. Why did that go to love? Oops! I never thought that I would have to repent of this sin.
I asked him, After you broke up with that sister, how could that sister threaten you with suicide?
He said, Hey! I have even changed my previous number, which I have not given to anyone except a few. How did he get my number? Then I changed the number again and did not give it to any of my friends. Even though I blocked him on Facebook because he could not contact me on the phone, he sent me a long message using another ID and threatened suicide.
Seeing his suicide threat, I stopped. I didn't know what to do. I am in extreme depression. I thought I would share these things with you. Pray for me, my friend; may Allah Ta'ala save me from this great danger. I am not eating or sleeping properly. There is always a kind of fear and restlessness working within. I'm actually in such a depression that I feel like I'm not even alive, like I'm a living corpse.
He said in a tearful voice, "If I had not had a haram relationship with that girl today, maybe I would not have to accept this pain today." Now I can't find peace, even after breaking up. I understand that my sins have to be expunged very hard.
I put my hand on his back and said, "Don't worry, Sayem." Don't be disappointed. You have to face this situation with patience. And always trust in Allah. In no way can trust in Allah be shaken. Allah Ta'ala says, He is sufficient for the one who trusts in Allah.
You didn't do anything wrong by breaking up with that sister. This illegal relationship is already haram. What he is threatening you is to establish a haram relationship, which has no basis in Islam. If he commits suicide with this reason in front of him, the matter will be like this: because he rejected the offer of kabeera sin like establishing haram relationships, he committed another kabeera sin like suicide. Who can be a bigger brat who can do such a bad thing?
And listen, you didn't do it right yourself by having a relationship with that sister. It is not your own fault. I didn't even bother to explain it to you many times. You would rather avoid my words, then. What I didn't say then was that Haram relationships end up terribly bad. Even if I could not understand this saying that day, I cannot understand that today it is being understood in my bones.
Let me say a word. And you might feel bad hearing that. That is, those who engage in zina-like haram relationships before marriage do not find true happiness in married life after marriage anyway. They have disobeyed Allah by engaging in illicit relations or fornication before marriage. He disobeyed God and sought happiness. As a result, most of them lead a troubled marital life after marriage, and their family quarrels continue as a worldly cash punishment for engaging in pre-marital relationships and indulging in zina.
These are some of my acquaintances who were in a relationship with each other before marriage. I have heard from them that as time goes on after marriage, the level of unrest is increasing. Why are they not getting along with each other? The distance between the mind and the body and the body is increasing. Even from nearby, their location is thousands of miles away. Basically, except for a few isolated cases, this is the real picture of married life for everyone who marries in a haram relationship. But before marriage, their so-called love seemed to have gone downhill.
I understood from the words of those acquaintances that they were suffering a lot in their married lives. The happiness that they tried to get before marriage is the name of a golden deer in married life today. My heart was really heavy after hearing their story. May Allah keep each of them in peace.
Anyway, what happened to you is done. Looking back will no longer correct itself. Rather, you should now be ashamed of Allah and repent with a repentant heart. May it never happen again.
And if there is any message from my sister through someone, you can only bring forward your own fault without saying anything negative about her, that what I have done is wrong; I have disobeyed Allah by establishing an extramarital relationship with her. I also disobeyed Allah. That's why I first apologize to the Lord for having disobeyed him. Then I ask for forgiveness from him, with whom I have had a haram relationship, whom I have drowned in disobedience to the Lord, in the displeasure of the Lord.
Friend, your advice will be of great use to me. I was really worried about it. But your words have eased my anxiety a lot. I feel lighter now. The burden of worry that I came to you with is no more. A little while ago, I could not think of what to do or not to do. But now I understand, from your words, what I should do.
Ma Sha Allah! Then it's good. Alhamdulillah!
Reference:
[1] Surah Ar Rom, verse no. 21
[2] Surah at Talaq, Verse No. 03
Some words:
What happened to Saim at the end of the story remains unknown, but we can see how much emotional pain Saim was suffering from having a haram relationship. In fact, one has to face worldly punishments many times more than the happiness one gets by establishing a haram relationship, which gradually breaks the heart.
Our brothers and sisters who are seeking comfort from engaging in haram relationships should take time to correct themselves by taking lessons from Sayyim. Otherwise, there may be a heavy price to pay in life that may exceed your imagination. So, be careful. And remember, there is no peace in disobeying Allah. All peace lies in obedience to God.
|| Relationship Story ||
✍️: Rakib Ali
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